


Misfortune

by PerfectlyHopeless



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Backstory, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 11:25:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14736080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerfectlyHopeless/pseuds/PerfectlyHopeless
Summary: She was strong in the Force, even as a young child, and with that her mother had to accept that things would never be normal.





	Misfortune

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at summaries. Basically, this is a bit of backstory for my Consular, Kehmal, told from the point of view of her mother, Atrin. It's not what I was trying to write, but it's what I wrote. I hope you enjoy!

 

* * *

 

Atrin opened the door, almost expecting one of the Masters to be in the hall. Instead it was Zarek, one of her fellow Knights. Like her he was zabrak, delicate tattoos marking his light brown face while bright blue eyes met her grey. She stared for a couple seconds, surprised to see him.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, standing in the doorway, her arms folded over her chest. He wasn’t wearing his robes, instead in a brown coat and slacks. Zarek would have passed for just another civilian if not for the lightsaber on his hip. He offered her a smile, radiating a sense of calm the put Atrin at ease. Zarek had been one of the few who hadn’t cut ties with her when her daughter was born, instead offering her support.

“I was passing by,” he began. “Figured I would stop and check up on you.”

Atrin smiled weakly, feeling the sincerity in  his words. “I’m fine,” she assured him. “Kehmal’s settled down for a nap, so I was just tidying up.” She paused, looking him over. “Would you like to come inside?”

“Only if it’s alright with you.”

She stepped out of the doorway, gesturing for him to come in. He unzipped his coat a bit, getting a little more comfortable in the warm apartment. It was set up with modest furniture, almost all of it tacked to the floor or walls in some manner. There was nearly no decoration, aside from the case that held Atrin’s lightsaber. It had been locked up since Kehmal’s birth. The cabinets in the kitchen were held closed by strong magnetic tech, the doors refusing to move unless Atrin was the one opening them; a result of Atrin’s baby proofing her home. There was the usual household clutter in the living room and on the kitchen counters, but for the most part the home was kept neat and tidy. It had to be.

The electric kettle in the kitchen chirped to let Atrin know that the water had finished boiling. She pressed the button to turn it off, pulling down a mug from a cabinet before glancing over to her friend, who had sat down at a barstool on the other side of the counter. “Would you like some?”

“I would love some, thank you,” Zarek said. He watched patiently as Atrin pulled down another mug. She opened a jar and added a couple spoonfuls of a herb mix to the bottom of each. They stayed in comfortable silence as she added the hot water and handed him his tea. Neither said anything for a while. They didn’t have to use words to convey how they were feeling.

Zarek, as usual, was calm. He’d always been a better Jedi than Atrin with his ability to find peace inside himself. His speciality was getting the people around him to relax. It was akin to the fabled technique of Battle Meditation that they’d learned of while still training together, but Zarek did it without needing to concentrate, instead on instinct. It made him a desirable asset for the Knights. In this moment, Atrin could feel something that wasn’t calm inside of her friend. Worry, she thought. Probably for her. Which would have been understandable, especially as her appearance reflected how stressed she felt. The circles around her eyes looked like bruises, and her usually well kept hair was thrown up into a messy bun, strands of her crimson hair caught on her crown of horns. The tea she was making would hopefully help to settle her nerves.

Paranoia was starting to get the best of her. She was a young, single mother and formerly respected Knight at the mercy of the Jedi order, their sense of duty the only thing keeping them from cutting all of their ties to her. She had every right to be paranoid, especially with how they had spoken to her before she’d left the temple. Atrin knew that her friend could feel her anxiety. Behind the facade of a well kempt home was the fact that a very Force sensitive child was sleeping in the next room over

Kehmal was about two and a half years old and already her strength in the Force rivaled that of trained Jedi. The child seldom spoke, instead communicating her wants and needs as feelings through the Force, letting her mother know exactly what had to be done to care for her. In some ways this had made the challenge of single motherhood easier, while simultaneously complicating matters. Kehmal was a generally calm child, often content with being in her own little world and coming back to reality with some ease. But she was still a child, and children were prone to tantrums. Kehmal’s rare fussy moments were why the furniture had to be secured to the floor and why the cabinets locked tight when closed. Why the the rooms were kept immaculate. Kehmal could make objects move with very little effort on her part, often doing so for fun when she and Atrin were playing with toys. When stressed her power became more apparent, emotion fueling her strength. Atrin had learned this in Kehmal’s first year after the couch had been flung into the wall, almost going through it. She was left with a lesson learned and a wall with a sizable bend in the metal.

Ignorant Jedi who knew nothing of children, who were by nature emotional creatures, would claim that Kehmal was already on the path to the dark side. Atrin saw them as fools. Emotions did not lead to the dark side. Compassion, love, happiness… these were of the light. When not stressed, Kehmal was nothing but light. Atrin had no fear of losing her daughter to the dark, only of Kehmal being taken away from her.

Atrin closed her eyes for a moment, bringing her mug to her face and breathing in the sweet smelling steam. The temperature control unit hummed in the background, the loudest thing in the apartment as they drank their tea. Zarek set his mug down on the counter, warming his hands on the ceramic. Atrin looked over at him. His bright eyes met the gaze of her grey.

“How are things?” he asked.

A sigh passed between her lips, her hand moving up to rub at her stiff neck. “They are what they are.”

“How’s Kehmal?”

“She’s doing better,” Atrin said, nodding. She tucked a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. “She’s finally over that cold, so she’s sleeping through the night again. No more being woken up every hour.”

Zarek smiled at her. “I knew you looked tired.”

She scoffed. “Don’t try to sugarcoat it, I know I’m a mess.”

He chuckled at this. “I wouldn’t be so rude,” he said. “Has Nadrus…?”

Atrin cut him off, “We’ve spoken. He’s offered, but I already turned him down.”

Her friend frowned at this, the tattooed space between his brows pinching. “Why’d you turn him down?”

“I don’t think it would go well,” she said, fidgeting with the handle on her mug. “Nadrus is a good man, but a father… I just can’t picture it.”

“You know, I’d never have pegged you as a mother before her,” Zarek said. Atrin glanced his way. “Have they ever spent any time together?”

“Some time after she was born, and again last year,” she said. “I know from the way he looks at her that he would do anything to keep her safe. I just can’t imagine…” Atrin trailed off, shaking her head. “I don’t know how to explain it… Kehmal is my responsibility. I wouldn’t be comfortable sharing that.”

“The Masters may disapprove, but you still have friends in the Order,” he reminded her. “We’re here to support you.”

“And I appreciate that,” she said. Her gaze fell back on her hands, bringing her tea up to her lips and drinking another couple of swallows. Already she could feel the past few days’ stress relieving from her muscles, Zarek’s presence helping to put her mind at ease. “I won’t be able to keep her for much longer. I know that even here the Masters can feel her.”

“Strength like Kehmal’s hasn’t been felt in decades,” he reminded her.

“So I’ve been told,” she sighed. “At most I have a couple more years before I have little choice… She may not even remember me after they take her.”

“She’ll remember you,” Zarek assured her, reaching across the counter to rest his hand on her forearm.

“She’s so young,” she continued, getting a little choked up as she glanced at Kehmal’s bedroom door, her child still sleeping peacefully behind it. “So young, Zarek… it’s not fair to me or her. Kehmal isn’t dangerous, she’s just a toddler who has the misfortune of being Force sensitive.”

“I know,” he said, his voice low. Atrin watched as he closed his eyes, taking her hand in his and helping her relax again. “Everything will be okay, Atrin. Kehmal will always be your daughter, no matter what happens.”

Atrin closed her own eyes, holding her friend’s hand tight as she fought back her tears and let his calming presence take over instead. They remained in that comfortable silence a little longer until Atrin’s eyes snapped back open, looking over at Kehmal’s door.

“She’s awake.”

Zarek let her hand go so she could go to her child. He watched as she walked across the room, turning on the light in the little girl’s room.

Even the furniture in Kehmal’s room had been secured, the little girl sitting up and looking over at her mother expectantly. She didn’t want anything in particular. Kehmal was curious as to what was going on, the bright green eyes she’d gotten from her father staring up at her mother. Atrin smiled at her and knelt beside her little bed, reaching over to brush back Kehmal’s mess of crimson hair from her pale face, imagining what she might look like when her horns grew in and when she received her tattoos.

“Would you like to join me?” Atrin asked, Kehmal’s bright smile her answer. The little girl stretched her arms out, wanting to be picked up. She was still small enough that Atrin could carry her with ease, her daughter’s little hands clinging to her shirt as she walked back to the living area. Zarek stood, crossing the space to join them.

Kehmal looked at the room around her with curiosity, just quietly and calmly sitting on her mother’s lap, the fabric of Atrin’s shirt still bunched in her fists. Zarek smiled at her when she met his gaze, the two staring at each other for a moment. Kehmal smiled a little after a couple seconds, looking away and up at her mother.

“She likes you,” Atrin said, chuckling and petting her daughter’s head.

“I’m honored,” he said.

The little girl sat silently while Atrin and Zarek continued to converse, not paying much attention as she stared off into space, just feeling the world around her. Kehmal could sense the influence Zarek had on her mother, sometimes glancing over at him and wondering how. Her mother’s happiness was reassuring, however, which lead her to carry on while Atrin and Zarek spoke of taking Kehmal to the temple, to see how she’d react. She glanced at her mother when she sensed some discomfort coming from her. Atrin just smiled down at her, bending a little to kiss the top of her head.

Atrin knew that it was only a matter of time before Kehmal had to go to the Jedi, if only so she could learn to control her power. It didn’t make it any easier to look at the little girl and hope that she would stay so small forever.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! If you're so inclined, please consider leaving a comment! Otherwise, thank you so much for reading, I hope you have a good day ^_^


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